Hey! Have I got a book for you! This is a particularly timely pitch, for the official publication date of the book is very near to that of this month’s edition of Between the Lines. Be among the first to own this delightful compendium of elegantly expressed thoughts from some of the greatest wordsmiths of many centuries.

The book is Oxymoronica, by Dr. Mardy Grothe, published by HarperResource (an imprint of HarperCollins Publishers). You may recall that Dr. Grothe is the author of Never Let a Fool Kiss You or a Kiss Fool You. That book celebrates the use of the literary device called chiasmus, the device exemplified by both the book’s title and such well know examples as “Say what you mean, and mean what you say.” The title, Oxymoronica, is a term coined by Grothe “to describe quotations that contain incompatible or incongruous elements.” In other words, oxymoronica is that category of literary devices consisting of oxymorons and paradoxes.

“Oxymoron” is defined by the Oxford English Dictionary as

A rhetorical figure by which contradictory or incongruous terms are conjoined so as to give point to the statement or expression; an expression in its superficial or literal meaning self-contradictory or absurd, but involving a point.

One of the definitions of "paradox" is

A statement that seems self-contradictory, false, or absurd but is nonetheless well-founded or true.

Attempting to review such a book reminded me of the fabled reviewer of the telephone directory, whose summary comment is said to be, “Not much plot, but what a cast of characters!” For Oxymoronica, my summary comment could be, “Not much plot, but what a splendidly glittering array of gems of literary expression!” No, one does not read this book for plot. That is not what it’s all about. The reader is drawn along, not by the twists and turns of narrative, but by sparkling example piled upon sparkling example—something of a “Can You Top This” in which the competitors are some of the greatest wordsmiths of the centuries—and some lesser lights who apparently came up with gems by inadvertence. In fact, although I read it more or less straight through because I wanted to review it, that is not how I recommend that you read it. After all, how much Häagen-Dazs or Lady Godiva can you consume at one sitting? A surfeit of richness can lead to the opposite of the desired effect. How much greater is the enjoyment of judicious consumption! My recommendation is that you keep this book near at hand, whether at your bedside, beside your favorite chair, or wherever you find the time to catch those moments of pure enjoyment of reading.

Start with “An Introduction to Oxymoronica.” There Grothe describes the project he undertook with this book. He defines his terms and tells us why he has had a long-term fascination with oxymoronica. He quotes examples to illustrate the many facets of that fascination. From the centuries-old Chinese appreciation of self-contradictory thinking he draws a sixth century B.C. statement of Lao-Tzu, “The truest sayings are paradoxical.” He then quotes aphorisms from some of China’s great sages, including this one from Lao-Tzu:

Failure is the foundation of success . . . success is the lurking place of failure.

Some uses of the device are ironic. For example:

John Kenneth Galbraith

Some are humorous:

Why do you have to be a nonconformist like everybody else?

James Thurber

Following the “Introduction …,” Grothe divides the quotations on offer into 14 chapters, each of which contains quotations related to its thematic title. These titles/themes include “Oxymoronic Wit and Humor,” “Political Oxymoronica,” “Ancient Oxymoronica,” “Oxymoronic Insults,” “Inadvertent Oxymoronica,” and nine others. On average, each chapter contains about 100 quotations.

“Oxymoronic Wit and Humor,” Grothe maintains, is sophisticated humor, “The self-contradictory aspects of oxymoronic humor appeal to a special part of our mental apparatus, a part that enjoys thinking about some of life’s most intriguing contradictions and paradoxes.” The following are a few selected examples:

The suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.

Oscar Wilde

England and America are two countries separated by the same language.

George Bernard Shaw

I think people who go to a psychiatrist ought to have their heads examined.

Jane Ace

And here’s one that is especially relevant and dear to us:

When all else fails, read the instructions.

Agnes Allen

“Oxymoronic Insults (And a Few Compliments)” contains memorable zingers, some of which may have been “hurled with such panache that even the recipient is likely to be impressed.” An ancient one of these is the observation of the Roman poet Terence about a contemporary woman:

She never was really charming till she died.

That reminds Grothe of Voltaire who, when urged to offer public condolences for a writer he hated who had recently died, declaimed

I have just been informed that Monsieur ______ is dead. He was a staunch patriot, a talented writer, a loyal friend, —a devoted husband and father provided he is really dead.

Of Marilyn Monroe’s physical assets, Constance Bennett remarked

There’s a broad with her future behind her.

Deep down, he's shallow.

Perhaps not surprisingly, a number of the insults are directed from one writer to another:

Henry James was one of the nicest old ladies I ever met.

William Faulkner

For another such, there is this one directed at Truman Capote:

A sweetly vicious old lady.

Some other examples that might have particular resonance for us may be found in the chapter “The Literary Life.” Here is one that you might not want to reveal to a freshman English class:

Writing is easy; all you do is sit staring at a blank sheet of paper until the drops of blood form on your forehead.

I can’t omit inclusion of examples of inadvertent oxymoronica, one of the prime sources of which is, of course, Yogi Berra:

Johnny Walker

Samuel Goldwyn was famous for some of his, including

Let’s let Yogi Berra have the last word with this one:

Last month’s puzzler (from “Ask Marilyn,” Parade Magazine, November 3, 2003) was the following:
Here’s a partial list of words: thorn, shout, and seat. Which of the following completes the list: sting, stake, stew, or trash?
SOLUTION: stew
When their letters are rearranged the words thorn, shout, seat, and stew become the words for the main points of the compass.

Until next time, send me your solutions (or suggestions or complaints or stumpers) at hfox@juno.com or 2005 Burroughs Drive, Dayton, Ohio 45406.