Calling All Verbivores


Calling All Verbivores by Harld Fox
Someone said or, if not, someone should have said that poetry is language working overtime. The rich variety of poetry available to us demonstrates that there are plenty of ways in which that overtime can be logged. Some of us may remember our introductions to the technical elements in poetry: rhyme, meter, metaphor, simile, and such. There is ample evidence there for a well-stocked toolbox available for use by poets who make language work overtime. There are other ways that language can be said to be working overtime. Perhaps the joke is the most familiar one. Thanks to the Internet, jokes can now go around the world even more quickly than they did in the days when the late night TV shows were the prime medium for their dissemination. In the joke, we might identify language’s moonlighting job as clowning. Jokes range from the standup comedian’s one-liner to elaborate shaggy dog stories. One sub-category of jokes contains those that are the results of self-conscious, reflexive work on language itself. The simplest form of these is that of the pun. The pun is clowning by turning the attention of language onto itself to make us laugh, chuckle, or smile. I want to share with you some examples of this genre that came to me via the Internet. The first group of these examples contains favorites from a collection I received under the title, “Handy Engineering Conversions.” I received the collection first from Thea Teich, a little later from Joe Davis, and later yet, from my brother in Texas. Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter: Eskimo Pi 2000 pounds of Chinese soup: Won ton Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement: 1 bananosecond Half of a large intestine: 1 semicolon 1000 aches: 1 megahurtz 1 million bicycles: 2 megacycles 2000 mockingbirds: 2 kilomockingbirds The second group consists of some favorites from a collection that Edith Stewart sent me, addressed to “…all you lexophiles (lovers of words).” A bicycle can’t stand alone because it is two-tired. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. A backward poet writes inverse. If you don’t pay your exorcist you get repossessed He often broke into song because he couldn’t find the key. Acupuncture is a jab well done. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.		While the pun may be dismissed as “the lowest form of comedy,” it and other jokes should not be taken as less than serious business. The ability to make us laugh is a gift that has been highly regarded for much of human history. The benefits of laughter have been described at great length, the subject of serious study and reflection. Practical benefits aside, we just plain enjoy a good laugh. In fact, some of us even enjoy puns that qualify as “groaners,” so awful they are wonderful. Whatever our taste in humor, we can appreciate that one of the ways that language can be said to work overtime is in the production of humor by turning on itself. For this issue’s puzzler, we turn again to Will Shortz. What is the only one common, uncapitalized, seven-letter English word, containing just a single vowel—that does not have the letter S anywhere within it? Hint: The answer begins with T.. Before revealing the solution to last issue’s puzzler, I want to return to the one from the preceding issue. No one has notified me that two of the examples of semordnilaps with which I supplemented those given by Mr. Espy are not valid. Those two are “dear” and “reread.” I could say that I threw them in as a test, and all of you have failed the test. Actually, they are just plain errors on my part, which I discovered when I discussing the list with Karen Stille. To make up for the error I thought I should show you I could provide four dozen valid ones. On second thought, I will give you only a few favorites. They are these: straw parts timer deliver lever dial smart eel pool slap Now to “All but Q,” Will Shortz’s puzzler #112 from The Puzzlemaster Presents, Volume 2, which I posed to you last time. Take the 25 letters of the alphabet other than Q and arrange them to spell five common, uncapitalized words. They can be any length. What are they? Hint: The initial letters of the five words are C, F, G, P, and V. (Note: Use no letter more than once.) Answer: chintzy, fjords, gawk, plumb, vex Until next time, send me your solutions (or suggestions or complaints or stumpers) at hfox@juno.com or 2005 Burroughs Drive, Dayton, Ohio 45406.